Getting married is one thing and maintaining the marriage is another. The pop up of adultery has often come as a shock to many victims. Betrayal is usually unexpected thus triggering emotional pain from the aggrieved party. You will agree with me that quite a number of the marriages you know have had to bear the pain of adultery.
Unfortunately, it is not easy to discuss betrayal matters, so many victims suffer in silence. In my research, I realized that it is important to know the exact source of the problem and then deal with it from there.
It is not possible to line all of them up here as the list is endless. Some are tiny fragments that flare up into a big issue if not attended. I have only listed five to give you a guideline but expounded on one.
You can, however, find the bigger picture of adultery in this keenly outsourced collection of data from real victims. https://healthysoulties.com/books/infidelity/. Knowing that you have a counterpart who has worn the same shoes and gotten over it is a step in the healing process.
Five causes of Adultery.
- There is often a general talk that seems to support adultery among peers. Those who easily get carried away find themselves becoming victims of adultery out of influence.
- Material dissatisfaction has led many people into cheating with economic seniors whose wealth prowess is the attraction factor.
- Disconnect with God denies victims the wisdom to put together all the pros and cons and come up with a tangible account as a guiding factor against adultery.
- Some adulterers feel conquerors when people of the opposite sex run after them. They take advantage of any slight opportunity to get intimate with their easy catches.
- The demeaning of one’s partner has adversely attracted betrayal.
The one point I will expound on resonates with the personality of the victim. Only one thing gives him the confidence to cheat on you. His achievements over your stay together period have widened the economic gap between the two of you. As a result, he begins to humiliate you. That is reason number five. I will use a true story to help you get the real picture.
How Irene transformed adultery into fidelity.
Irene is one woman who has never wanted her marriage to be a statistic among failed marriages. Appearing in the list of broken marriages has never been an option. She always wanted to do anything to keep her marriage alive and for life, like she promised when she uttered her vows on her wedding day.
Anytime her husband put her down, that is the first thing that rang in her mind – the vows. She did not want to taint her relationship with God. She only had one option, and that is to keep the marriage. Irene preferred to devise ways to solve the problem rather than run away from it.
How Irene changed her husband’s perspective on her.
It was about ten years into the marriage, and Irene already had three children. They had gained some comfort as a family compared to how they began the marriage. She studied her husband and came to the conclusion that his wealth was the driving factor that led him to adultery. Her only solution was to counter-attack his wealth to bring sanity in her home.
Irene began to engage in a small business besides her low paying job. When the business gained stability, she quit her job to give it her all. Her concentration in the business grew the income much faster, and within two years, she was able to earn much more than she did while in employment.
If you look back, you will agree with me that Irene’s husband was engaging in adultery based on her inability. He began to have some sense of respect for her and even apologized for earlier events.
Adultery shines light upon Irene’s family.
As the business expanded, demand superseded the supply yet Irene did not have enough workforce to run the business. It came at a time when her income was way above her husband’s income. They had since reconciled, and he was keenly following the events of the business. He quit his job to join Irene in the now family business.
Irene’s family today.
Imagine yourself holding a lottery card not knowing that there are one million dollars underneath just awaiting your scratch! Irene was the lottery card for this family. Her husband was holding the lottery card although he scratched it via the pain of adultery. He accepted that he did it the wrong way and started working together with her to build the family empire. It is now a family of peace, wealth, and comfort.
Do not try scratching your lottery card via adultery. Your spouse’s personality may not be similar to Irene’s. Therefore, the results will not be the same. Yours could end up in total war and lifetime regrets. You can read more facts about infidelity here https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-things-you-must-know-a_b_7247708.
I am not condoning adultery but making you understand that a problem can turn out to be your eye-opener. It does not have to be a case of betrayal!
Running away from a crisis has never been a solution. A worse difficulty may find its way into your life. It is wiser to seek God’s wisdom to use your trouble as a bridge to reaching out to the solutions.
Never underestimate your spouse’s ability. She or he may end up being the person that makes your life worth living.
You can transform an adultery story into something meaningful that goes a long way in helping another person. Someone’s mind could be at a standstill somewhere because his current situation may not allow him to figure out a solution. Your story could be a ‘God sent’ that re-energizes him and provides a solution. Better still, share this post with a friend!
Judith is a simple fun loving rib cracker who gets thrilled at the mention of Jesus. Her sole purpose here is to infect you with matters of faith and hope besides running her business and making sure her husband and children enjoy her presence in their lives. Check out this link for more information about her. https://healthysoulties.com/christian-marriages/