The mystical pain behind our wedding – a wedding on a low budget

Sometimes I sit back and wonder how our wedding happened! A month never ended before a priest encouraged members to wed in the church. For some reason which I did not understand then, the message went out as soon as it got into my ears. A wedding was not my priority.

On one Sunday, I had an opportunity to listen to a lady narrate her adoration experience. She spoke with a lot of emotion, and I thought; why not give it a try? Then a bombshell followed; the presiding priest said only those who receive the Holy Eucharist are allowed to adore the Eucharistic Lord! I got tongue-tied, “where do I start from,” I thought to myself? Giving up has never been my accomplice, so I pursued after the mass, and I got permission to attend adoration.

Within a few days, our parish hosted an inner healing retreat. I got bruised a second time when the teachings seemed to divide the attendees into two groups. Those who receive the Holy Communion can confess their sins, whereas those who do not should write them on a piece of paper and put them in the allocated container. Why lie; I considered myself the greatest sinner!

I cried on and off, throughout the retreat; not because of how much I got hurt but because of how the urgency of a wedding hit me. Let me admit that the retreat uncorked my brain. When I was over and done with the retreat, I started working on my wedding immediately!

My problem was more of connecting with Christ than the glamour almost everyone focuses on! We simply pulled resources and budgeted with what we had. The invitation was via phone. We picked a few committee members whose work was to help us plan for the wedding, and the day eventually came.

Years have elapsed, but every day of my life, I thank God because it is the best gift we ever gave to ourselves. Below are some common wedding blocks that affect the majority. However, I will concentrate on what resonates with my case. 

Four wedding cripplers

  1. Parents may insist on full dowry payment before they okay their daughter’s wedding. Let me not go deeper into this because it involves a third party (parents), and only you can know how to deal with the situation since they all differ.
  2. Self-denial. Wanting to be what you are not can keep you in a come-we-stay marriage for years. One thing I believe is that you can spend a few thousands or millions to wed; remember you can only scratch your back up to a certain point. The people-pleasing syndrome takes control if given a chance.
  3. Your partner may be least interested in the wedding, thus requiring greater wisdom to deal with the situation.   
  4. Ignorance of the importance of a wedding.

Just to let the cat out of the bag, I languished around number four above. I did not give a wedding the importance it deserved, and now that my eyes got opened, I had to take it up. Whatever people thought was not my problem but rather my relationship with Christ.

As I give a snippet of my story, I encourage couples who have not yet recognized the secrets behind a church wedding to dig deeper and get to know what they are missing. Our wedding was one of the simplest, but the aftermath effect is a long, interesting story for another day.

Financial implications

Many are the times we get lost in perceiving a wedding to be one of the most costly events. I have met several couples who tag their prospective weddings to a specific cash figure. My case was unique. I was all over sudden desperate to receive the Holy Eucharist, and nothing was going to stop me from getting there! It went like this!

No wedding cards!

No bridal team!

Only a few witnesses involved!

No white or cream dress!

No caterers!

No hired reception venue!

No hired tents and chairs!

No hired entertainment band!

No seven-tier cake!

No debts!

My dress cost me five thousand Kenya shillings; shoes seven hundred Kenya shillings and veil Kenya shillings five hundred, to mention a few!

If only I had a video trail to attach! From the video, you would realize it just looks like one of those big weddings apart from the not-white dress, which is conspicuous! However, friends and relatives will never fail to unleash surprises.


One of our friends wouldn’t imagine a wedding without flowers. She took it upon herself to incur the costs. The cars, hotel, and the church had quite some decorations courtesy of her contribution.

Another friend wondered how the event would look without entertainment. He veered in with entertainers who made the occasion more interesting.

You must be wondering if people had something to eat, considering we had no caterers. We booked space and lunch for the small expected number in a hotel. To seal the deal, the cash presents were good enough to pay the bill!

God will always send His people to give support where necessary. He is the same God who converted water to wine at the wedding in Cana!

My final thoughts

Someone out there is in the situation I was in when I badly needed to receive the Holy Communion. I would say give your desire to wed a different approach and see what happens. Minimize your demands! Leave the world alone and focus on God! Slanderers must talk irrespective of whether the wedding is small or big! It has not deterred us from getting to where we are today; it hastened the process. You can check this link for more tips on how to wed on a low budget.

God says; come the way you are, so, go down the aisle the way you are! You may not see the need until you are in a situation similar to what the Israelites experienced in Egypt. The Egyptians in your case are all the forces that are trying to make sure you don’t marry in the church; rest assured they exist even if still invisible. Why wait? A wedding is like Moses striking the red sea for the Israelites (you) to get to the Promised Land.

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