Sometimes the wonders of life get me by surprise and one of such moments is my wedding. A month never ended before a priest mentioned the importance of solemnizing a marriage in church. For some reason which I did not understand then, the message went out as soon as it got into my ears. A wedding was not my priority. I suppose I just had not opened the entry door to my soul wide enough for Jesus to get in!
The lit-up Sunday
On one Sunday, I had an opportunity to listen to a lady narrate her adoration experience. I seemed to be unusually more attentive on that day. She spoke with a lot of emotion, and I thought; why not give it a try? Unfortunately, my all-over sudden quest was brought down as soon as my desire stepped in. The presiding priest affirmed that only those who receive the Holy Eucharist are allowed to adore the Eucharistic Lord! I got tongue-tied, “where do I start from,” I thought to myself? Giving up has never been part of my life, so I pursued after the mass, and there I was; allowed to attend adoration!
How retreats saved me
Within a few days, our parish hosted an inner healing retreat. I got bruised a second time when the teachings seemed to divide the attendees into two groups. Those who receive the Holy Communion can confess their sins, whereas those who do not should write them on a piece of paper and put them in the allocated container. Why cheat; I considered myself the greatest sinner! After benefitting so much from one retreat after the other, I thought of sharing the benefits with you too. You can find the details in this link. https://healthysoulties.com/product/power-retreats/
I cried on and off, throughout the retreat; not because of how much I got hurt but because of how the urgency of a wedding hit me. Let me admit that the retreat uncorked my brain. When I was over and done with the retreat, I started preparing for my wedding!
My problem was more of connecting with Christ than the glamour almost everyone focuses on! We simply pulled resources and budgeted with what we had. The invitation was via phone. We picked a few committee members whose work was to help us plan for the wedding, and the day eventually came.
It has been years, but every day of my life, I thank God because the wedding is the best gift we ever gave to ourselves. A good thing is better shared so that those in need can benefit from it and that is why I write my story so that it can find and solve as many cases as possible.
I, however, admit that challenges differ from one person to another and have come up with a few common obstacles to many people’s wedding desires. As I explain, I will concentrate on what resonates with my case.
Four obstacles to wedding desires
- Parents may insist on full dowry payment before they okay their daughter’s wedding. Let me not go deeper into this because it involves a third party (parents). Nevertheless, you’re the only one who can know how to deal with the situation since they all differ from culture to culture, spiritual maturity notwithstanding.
- Self-denial. Wanting to be what you are not can keep you in a come-we-stay marriage for years. One thing I believe is that you can spend as much money as you have or as little as you can afford to wed. Remember you can only scratch your back up to a certain point and the wedding is all about your relationship with God and not what your relatives, friends, neighbors or colleagues think about it.
- Your partner may be least interested in the wedding, thus requiring greater wisdom to deal with the situation.
- Ignorance of the importance of a wedding.
To be honest, I was a bit ignorant; I did not give a wedding the importance it deserved. When I saw the light, I knew buying time would kill the morale and take me back to that comfort zone I wanted to leave. Whatever people thought was not my problem but rather my relationship with Christ.
As I give a snippet of my story, I encourage couples who have not yet recognized the secrets behind a church wedding to dig deeper and get to know what they are missing. My wedding was one of the simplest, but the aftermath effect is a long, interesting story for another day.
Many are the times we get lost in perceiving a wedding to be one of the most costly events. I have met several couples who tag their prospective weddings to a specific cash figure. My case was unique. I was all over sudden desperate to receive the Holy Eucharist, and nothing was going to stop me from getting there as you can tell from the expenditure as listed!
There were no wedding cards!
No ladies and gents in the lineup; just the four of us; we and our best couple!
A few witnesses involved!
No white or cream dress!
Caterers did not have an opportunity to make money!
No hired reception venue!
We did not need to hire tents and chairs!
No hired entertainment band!
A sizable cake enough for the visitors was good enough; no seven-tier cake!
Cheap is not a sin
My dress cost me five thousand Kenya shillings; shoes seven hundred Kenya shillings and veil Kenya shillings five hundred, to mention a few! If you want a cheap but fabulous wedding, find more tips here. https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/evewoman/article/2001291115/how-to-have-your-dream-wedding-on-a-low-budget
If only I had a video trail to attach! From the video, you would realize it just looks like one of those big weddings apart from the not-white dress, which is conspicuous! However, friends and relatives will never fail to unleash surprises.
By the way, most people who have seen my wedding photos ask one question. Why did you decide to wear a normal dress? My answer is always simple; we need to have a proper appointment for you to understand my choice because it’s not just a quick answer.
One of our friends wouldn’t imagine a wedding without flowers. She took it upon herself to incur the costs. The cars, hotel, and the church had quite some decorations courtesy of her contribution.
Another friend wondered how the event would look like without entertainment. He veered in with entertainers who made the occasion more interesting.
You must be wondering if people had something to eat, considering we had no caterers. We booked space and lunch for the small expected number in a hotel. To seal the deal, the cash presents were good enough to pay the bill!
Besides, God will always send His people to give support where He sees a loophole for as long as it is all for His glory. He is the same God who converted water to wine at the wedding in Cana!
My final thoughts
Someone out there is in the situation I was in when I badly needed to receive the Holy Communion. I would say give your desire to wed a different approach and see what happens. Minimize your demands! Leave the world alone and focus on God! Without a doubt, slanderers must talk irrespective of whether the wedding is small or big! It has not deterred us from getting to where we are today; it, in fact, hastened the process.
God says; come the way you are, so, go down the aisle the way you are! You may not see the need until you are in a situation similar to what the Israelites experienced in Egypt. The Egyptians in your case are all the forces that are trying to make sure you don’t marry in the church; rest assured they exist even if you cannot identify them. Why wait? A wedding is like Moses striking the red sea for the Israelites (you) to get to the Promised Land.
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Judith is a simple fun loving rib cracker who gets thrilled at the mention of Jesus. Her sole purpose here is to infect you with matters of faith and hope besides running her business and making sure her husband and children enjoy her presence in their lives. Check out this link for more information about her. https://healthysoulties.com/christian-marriages/